God is good.
God is with me.
God is loving.
Sound familiar? I'm sure. Phrases like these are plastered on bumper stickers and key chains and said nonchalantly in passing conversations (and by no means am I downplaying those bumper stickers or key chains). We hear them so often that we forget how truly amazing each of these are, I know I definitely do.
I forget until I'm plopped into a situation where these three truths are all I really have. Living in Africa as a missionary is one of those situations. Everything I have ever known or am familiar with is gone. Everything I have ever depended on is not here to hold my hand. Every familiar face is nowhere nearby. Every daily routine has changed dramatically. Every comfort or distraction I used to run to has been stripped from my side. Every way I have ever communicated is useless. Every way I have ever built relationships no longer seems to work. So what is my go-to? What is my constant? God has to be or I won't make it through a day with sanity. What is my greatest comfort every day in a place and around people that are so unfamiliar? It is something so simple, the simple truth that we hear all the time and take for granted: God is with me. When everything else is unfamiliar, the one thing that is familiar is my God. And it is this familiar God that is with me, as He has promised. I've been listening to a lot of Charlie Hall since being here and one part of one of his songs has stuck with me daily. It's from his song "Constant:"
Now I turn to some other circumstances, but also still immersed in the same living-in-Africa situation. I compare to it to being like a bug trapped under a cup. God has me in a season of isolation, a season where there is nowhere I can turn or escape, a season where I can't see the road two feet in front of me. But it is also a season of being surrounded by Him, where I am hemmed in on every side. Heavy heartedness has marked this season as I have lost friends and solid relationships have fallen out. God has been teaching me hard and difficult lessons. He has also been disintegrating every plan I've had and leading me in a direction I always thought I would run from. Seasons of isolation such as these aren't as unfamiliar; I have battled depression for the past eight years and the bug under a cup feeling is a common occurrence with that battle. Even when I just want to lie in the middle of the floor and say, "I'm throwing in the towel, I'm done," I look at the circumstances, know that God has ordained them, and know that God is doing a mighty mighty work for His glory and in my life that is beyond my comprehension. This is where the other truths that seem so simple and overused become incredible and a huge comfort. It's something so simple: God is good and God is loving. God is good despite what the circumstances might look like; He is good because His purposes through these circumstances are what's best. God is loving despite how difficult it is; He is loving because He never leaves me for one moment and it's through these circumstances that draws me closer to Himself.
It's something so simple that sustains me every day. Even when I saw none of this coming, it's something so simple that helps me get up in the morning and know without a doubt that He has me here in Rwanda at this very moment for a reason. It's something so simple and it's all I need, He's all I need.
"God, You are here with us, constantly here with us.
You are our everything, Faithful and True."
I will often listen to this song in the morning while I'm waiting for water to boil so I can make my coffee in a french press (oh, how I miss coffee makers and Keurigs). I can look out the kitchen window and see a lot of the city of Kigali and mountain after mountain. As I begin my day with coffee and Charlie Hall, I remember that the great Maker of those mountains and of this city is the same God who is constantly here with me, never leaving even when everything else is unfamiliar.
Now I turn to some other circumstances, but also still immersed in the same living-in-Africa situation. I compare to it to being like a bug trapped under a cup. God has me in a season of isolation, a season where there is nowhere I can turn or escape, a season where I can't see the road two feet in front of me. But it is also a season of being surrounded by Him, where I am hemmed in on every side. Heavy heartedness has marked this season as I have lost friends and solid relationships have fallen out. God has been teaching me hard and difficult lessons. He has also been disintegrating every plan I've had and leading me in a direction I always thought I would run from. Seasons of isolation such as these aren't as unfamiliar; I have battled depression for the past eight years and the bug under a cup feeling is a common occurrence with that battle. Even when I just want to lie in the middle of the floor and say, "I'm throwing in the towel, I'm done," I look at the circumstances, know that God has ordained them, and know that God is doing a mighty mighty work for His glory and in my life that is beyond my comprehension. This is where the other truths that seem so simple and overused become incredible and a huge comfort. It's something so simple: God is good and God is loving. God is good despite what the circumstances might look like; He is good because His purposes through these circumstances are what's best. God is loving despite how difficult it is; He is loving because He never leaves me for one moment and it's through these circumstances that draws me closer to Himself.
It's something so simple that sustains me every day. Even when I saw none of this coming, it's something so simple that helps me get up in the morning and know without a doubt that He has me here in Rwanda at this very moment for a reason. It's something so simple and it's all I need, He's all I need.
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